Getting Back on Track - Again

Because of the pain I was in last week I spent most of it in bed or on the lounge, and my sleeping pattern of course suffered, but the pain is gone now and I’m back to getting up at 5am and having brekky with Rory before he goes to work. I am still only sleeping in 4 or 5 hour blocks, but I am trying to stay awake for the whole day and get back into sleeping 8 hours again.

I have walked up to the corner shop twice this week, which was a great achievement and I even managed it without having a major panic attack. It was definitely not enjoyable, but it was nice to be out in the sun. I haven’t walked anywhere for such a long time, it was very scary, but I took on board the achievement of walking to the bus stop and used that to get through each step. I am going to walk up there every couple of days till it becomes a ‘normal’ activity.

I have planted about half of my natives and and I can’t wait till the grow..hmmm, will probably need a bit of patience for that one. My dog loves to dig up seedlings and chew on the roots, but she has only dug up one so far, and I hope that will be all she does…I can hope I haven’t checked the garden today yet…so fingers crossed.

1. Louise on July 17th, 2007 3:38 pm

   Hello Ruby!

   Thank you for visiting me and linking me! I feel absolutely honoured! I’m currently off work at the moment with sciatica so I can sympathise a bit on the pain front. I had been taking a codeine based painkiller that had a large amount of caffeine in it to prevent lethargy, forgetting that caffeine is panic’s best friend!! So I’ve decided to go cold turkey (Paracetamol doesn’t touch it) and put my feet up ’til it’s gone!

   Fantastic about your daily walks to the bus stop! What breed of dog do you have there?

   I shall visit again soon! xoxox

2. Ruby on July 17th, 2007 6:16 pm

   Your welcome Louise, us nutters have to stick together. I loved your writing style and quirky humour.
   Sciatica….ouch, I’m allergic to codeine, it makes me totally loose it. I take a pain killer called “Di-gesic” which is stronger than paracetamol but no spin outs for me.

   Shandi’s mum is an Australian Silky Terrier and her dad is Maltese/Shitzu, she is a lovely ball of fluff, a real lapdog. She is just on two so is starting to loose some of those horrid puppy traits. I have often thought of putting up a picture page, but as you I don’t have any interesting pics, I suppose I could photoshop myself into pics with interesting people hehehe.

   Hope you start feeling better soon

   Ruby

3. Sarah on July 17th, 2007 8:32 pm

   Hi there..

   A BIG fat well done for walking to the shop! It’s so hard getting back into the swing of things after illness, flipping heck, i’ve been failing at that for 8 months now.

   Hope you feel better soon

   Sarah♥

4. Rubyon July 17th, 2007 11:29 pm

   Thanks heaps Sarah
   Yes its not an easy road, I cant remember the last time I walked up to the shops, its been over a year that’s for sure.
   We will get there…eventually.

   Ruby

5. Louise on July 20th, 2007 12:38 am

   Hello Ruby

   Do you find it easier to go further when Shandi is with you? I read something about ‘involvement shields’ on an interesting article -

   http://www.lancs.ac.uk/fass/ihr/staff/documents/livingwithagoraphobia.pdf

   After reading this article I realised that people are my problem, not the surroundings. Like, if I was invisible, I wouldn’t be agoraphobic. I’d never thought that before.

   Am currently looking on ebay for a reasonably priced invisibility cloak. I’ll let you know…

   xoxox

6. Ruby on July 21st, 2007 11:59 am

   Yes I do Louise, I think too that its the invisibility thing, if Shandi is with me I don’t feel that I am focused on. I am trying to change my thinking to that people probably don’t give a hoot anyway.

   I had a brief look through the pdf, I’ll read it through properly later today, but I believe that my thought patterns came from Mum who was always saying “what will people think”.

   Crazy how we get programmed and how it affects us.

   Thanks for the link

   If you find that cloak let me know….

   Ruby

7. Louise on July 22nd, 2007 1:30 am

   My grandparents who had the most part of bringing me up were anxious. Very nice people but not very gutsy. I can imagine they would say “what will people think” to me too. It’s along those lines anyway. Totally relate to what you’re saying. Also suffered terribly from homesickness when a child. Funny but tragic - my mum/nan/grandad would leave me (at my insistance) at a friend’s house to stay the night and go home and sit by the phone with their coat on waiting for the inevitable call! haha.

   Won’t be posting much for the while, I’ve just split up with my boyfriend. No problem, I’m just going to gather my broken thoughts for a while.

   Much love xoxoxox