Reading a newsletter from Agoraphobia Resource Centre at http://www.agoraphobia.ws/newslettermay292007.htm named “Finding a Purpose Greater than Fear” was a great read. It discusses how man can conquer just about anything if he/she has a purpose in
life. This has made me think a lot of how most of my days purpose is focused on my anxiety and agoraphobia instead of finding or working towards a purpose for life. I grew up having to just survive my teenage years, so I never had a purpose or goal for the future, then I had children and my life was focussed on them and I got put on the back burner.
Now that the children have grown I find that I do not have a purpose for myself. This is something I am going to really look at hard and see what options I can come up with.
May 30, 2007
May 28, 2007
I Need Sleep!
I have had such bad sleep patterns in the last few days because of the noisy neighbours and Rory and his mates watching DVD’s till all hours (not that I mind him having fun, it was just bad timing), so I haven’t done anything at all out of the house. I have been feeling fairly low due to the lack of sleep which has in turn brought out the negativeness in me and that is never a good thing, I like to try to be as positive as possible. I went to bed early tonight to get a good sleep before my busy Monday and I got three messages and two phone calls after only two hours of sleep. My phone hardly ever rings, very strange how they all call at the one time. I didn’t answer the calls but it still woke me and now I am having trouble getting back to sleep again.
I was talking to a GROW member over the weekend, and all of a sudden I started going on about how I’m feeling pressured with all the tasks from the psychologist. I feel that I am not getting enough time to get a grasp on each task before starting the next one and I am feeling overwhelmed at walking on my own and am scared that if I don’t meet the tasks she will say that I am not meeting the targets and cancel the appointments like she did a couple of weeks ago. Weird how I didn’t know that was how I was feeling until it came out of my mouth.
I know that it is a government mental health organisation and they are very busy and are behind the eight ball, but am I just wasting their time and mine by attending and not given the time to get better. I will talk to her about this tomorrow at our appointment and see what happens from there.
I have consolidated all my address books and email addresses though, that took a while, there were bits everywhere, so at least something is moving in the right direction.
Ruby
I was talking to a GROW member over the weekend, and all of a sudden I started going on about how I’m feeling pressured with all the tasks from the psychologist. I feel that I am not getting enough time to get a grasp on each task before starting the next one and I am feeling overwhelmed at walking on my own and am scared that if I don’t meet the tasks she will say that I am not meeting the targets and cancel the appointments like she did a couple of weeks ago. Weird how I didn’t know that was how I was feeling until it came out of my mouth.
I know that it is a government mental health organisation and they are very busy and are behind the eight ball, but am I just wasting their time and mine by attending and not given the time to get better. I will talk to her about this tomorrow at our appointment and see what happens from there.
I have consolidated all my address books and email addresses though, that took a while, there were bits everywhere, so at least something is moving in the right direction.
Ruby
2 Responses to “I Need Sleep!”
May 25, 2007
No Advances Yet
Well I haven’t ventured out for my walks to the corner as yet, just the thought doing it freezes me on the spot and starts off a panic attack. I walked out to the letterbox today, and I had a look up towards the corner and it was so overwhelming I couldn’t believe it, I just can’t do it.
I can’t even seem to pinpoint what it is that is stopping me, I know that it is my anxiety obviously, but aside from that the only other thing is that it is so far out of my comfort zone that it scares me, as if I was stepping into another world that I don’t know or understand.
Its really weird when I know that ‘rationally’ there should be no fear to do what millions of people do everyday all around the world, some with war around them, and I can’t even walk 500m because of an inner irrational (although real) fear.
I sometimes get angry at myself, but then I have to stop and look at how far I have come since not even being able to leave my bedroom because of the agoraphobia. I also think that if this had been treated properly years ago I wouldn’t have spent the last 19 years using avoidance as a coping mechanism and thinking that I was ‘coping’ - not leading up to where I am today. But I can’t blame the past I suppose, I have to work forward one day at a time.
I can’t even seem to pinpoint what it is that is stopping me, I know that it is my anxiety obviously, but aside from that the only other thing is that it is so far out of my comfort zone that it scares me, as if I was stepping into another world that I don’t know or understand.
Its really weird when I know that ‘rationally’ there should be no fear to do what millions of people do everyday all around the world, some with war around them, and I can’t even walk 500m because of an inner irrational (although real) fear.
I sometimes get angry at myself, but then I have to stop and look at how far I have come since not even being able to leave my bedroom because of the agoraphobia. I also think that if this had been treated properly years ago I wouldn’t have spent the last 19 years using avoidance as a coping mechanism and thinking that I was ‘coping’ - not leading up to where I am today. But I can’t blame the past I suppose, I have to work forward one day at a time.
May 23, 2007
Going Great
Its Wednesday night and things have been going great in the way that I feel, its getting better every day. I saw the psychologist on Monday and we went further into the CBT there is so much more to it than meets the eye, if you don’t get it right then it wont benefit so focused on the differences with thoughts and emotions and the tasks we set up was for me to walk to the corner and back either by myself or with my dog, I haven’t ventured to the corner yet but have gone to the letterbox one more time. Just the thought of walking to the corner makes me so anxious and overwhelmed, that I just try to not think of it, I really don’t know if it is something I am ready to take on at this time, but I will try and see how I go.
Then I had an appointment with the psychiatrist to check how the new medication is going, and he is happy with the outcome, so I wont need to see him again.
Because of the psychiatrist appointment I missed the GROW meeting, but I went along to have coffee with them after the meeting, that was nice, but I mainly went so I kept in the habit of going each Monday.
Yesterday I rearranged the furniture in the house, to give me and my son some more privacy when he has his friends over. I moved the TV out of my bedroom and set it up in the dining room for me to make the bedroom for sleeping only and so I don’t have to be cooped up in my bedroom.
Today I cordoned off a section of the garden to keep my succulents in as the dog likes to dig up small plants, its looking pretty good I think. I made it big enough so I can keep my seedlings etc there as well.
Ruby
Then I had an appointment with the psychiatrist to check how the new medication is going, and he is happy with the outcome, so I wont need to see him again.
Because of the psychiatrist appointment I missed the GROW meeting, but I went along to have coffee with them after the meeting, that was nice, but I mainly went so I kept in the habit of going each Monday.
Yesterday I rearranged the furniture in the house, to give me and my son some more privacy when he has his friends over. I moved the TV out of my bedroom and set it up in the dining room for me to make the bedroom for sleeping only and so I don’t have to be cooped up in my bedroom.
Today I cordoned off a section of the garden to keep my succulents in as the dog likes to dig up small plants, its looking pretty good I think. I made it big enough so I can keep my seedlings etc there as well.
Ruby
2 Responses to “Going Great”
- Robert on May 24th, 2007 9:20 am
Hi Ruby -
Just checking up on you & you’re still doing well!
The CBT is helping, I’m sure; but it’s your real desire to change that’s pushing you forward. I really believe you’ve got what it takes to succeed!
Still rootin’ for you…
Robert
- Ruby on May 25th, 2007 5:24 pm
Thanks Robert
Yes that is true I do have a desire to change, but I don’t think I could do it without the tools I am learning so its probably 50/50.
It’s easy to expand on the things that you have been doing, but the stuff that I haven’t done for years and years are going to be the biggest hurdles.
I am not so confident about those, but I shouldn’t jinx myself….
May 20, 2007
Sunday Again Already
The days seem to fly by at the moment, I haven’t made an entry since Thursday. Well Thursday night I didn’t sleep well due to the neighbours arguing and then they started again at 5am, so I slept in till about noon. I picked up Rory from work and we went shopping at Coles (large supermarket) and again I managed my anxiety pretty well, but was glad to get out of there. Saturday morning I went to a cafe with Chloe to have a bit of a catch-up, it was rather busy but we managed to get a seat right by the door which made me feel a lot better, then we met Rory at home. After Chloe left we went to BigW to get him some shirts and socks. When we were walking into the shops I realised I still had my slippers on, normally I would not have gone in as my anxiety about what people would think would have made me go home. But I persevered as it was only going to be a quick in and out and kept panic attacks at bay.
I had to really concentrate on my breathing to keep my anxiety at bay, which also made me not focus on what people were thinking.
I had a task that I had to complete from GROW, to read a paragraph of their book daily, which I didn’t do, I only read it a couple of times. I think I have to set a specific time aside each day to complete my tasks, as that is what will help me. Now I have to own up to this tomorrow at the meeting, which is never a pleasant thing to do.
I had to really concentrate on my breathing to keep my anxiety at bay, which also made me not focus on what people were thinking.
I had a task that I had to complete from GROW, to read a paragraph of their book daily, which I didn’t do, I only read it a couple of times. I think I have to set a specific time aside each day to complete my tasks, as that is what will help me. Now I have to own up to this tomorrow at the meeting, which is never a pleasant thing to do.
May 17, 2007
The Letterbox
While I was still floating about the achievement at the restaurant, I decided to tackle the task the psych had set for me, which was to walk out to the letterbox.
I always checked it driving in the units driveway to avoid having to walk out there, I was so concerned about what the neighbours would think if I had a panic attack while walking, that I have avoided for a year now, so after all morning psyching myself up and using the CBT and breathing skills off I went (I did wait till everyone was indoors) and I completed my first task, I focused on my breathing the whole time so I wouldn’t start the panic cycle (and then there was no mail in there anyway, which made the effort seem useless). When I got back inside I gave a huge relief breath and had a mild panic attack. But I made it and faced my agoraphobia head on, which is the main thing.
Because winter is setting in, I am crocheting my little lapdog a jumper (she hates the cold) so I can take her for walks up to the corner. I haven’t walked anywhere for so many years, I can’t even remember the last time. So I will master the letterbox before I start on this one.
I used to get newsletters from Stephen Price who is a recovered agoraphobic himself and is currently studying his doctorate in psychology. He is going to write a book on the subject, and he is using a blog to get others input as well, have a look at his blog and website, I have links to both on here, Blog: Panic Disorder Book Project and Website: Agoraphobia Resource Centre
Ruby
I always checked it driving in the units driveway to avoid having to walk out there, I was so concerned about what the neighbours would think if I had a panic attack while walking, that I have avoided for a year now, so after all morning psyching myself up and using the CBT and breathing skills off I went (I did wait till everyone was indoors) and I completed my first task, I focused on my breathing the whole time so I wouldn’t start the panic cycle (and then there was no mail in there anyway, which made the effort seem useless). When I got back inside I gave a huge relief breath and had a mild panic attack. But I made it and faced my agoraphobia head on, which is the main thing.
Because winter is setting in, I am crocheting my little lapdog a jumper (she hates the cold) so I can take her for walks up to the corner. I haven’t walked anywhere for so many years, I can’t even remember the last time. So I will master the letterbox before I start on this one.
I used to get newsletters from Stephen Price who is a recovered agoraphobic himself and is currently studying his doctorate in psychology. He is going to write a book on the subject, and he is using a blog to get others input as well, have a look at his blog and website, I have links to both on here, Blog: Panic Disorder Book Project and Website: Agoraphobia Resource Centre
Ruby
2 Responses to “The Letterbox”
- Robert on May 20th, 2007 9:19 am
Hi Ruby -
Congratulations on your trip to the restaurant. And to the letterbox. You seem to be getting more confident. I hope it continues!
Robert
- Ruby on May 20th, 2007 12:59 pm
Thanks Robert
Yes, so do I. It definitely gave me confidence to know I am capable, but it all depends on how I feel on the day but I can’t praise the breathing and CBT enough it has made a huge difference.
Ruby
May 16, 2007
Mother’s Day Dinner
Well I did it!!!!! Yeeeha!!!! I’m pretty pleased with myself, didn’t think I would last out the meal before I had to go racing off outside to have a panic attack.
Chloe and her boyfriend came and picked up Rory and me and we headed of into the city, by this time I had worked myself up to a mild anxiety. We parked further away from the restaurant than I would’ve liked, but I kept quiet and focused on the conversation to distract myself. When we got there it was very full so we asked to sit at the back, away from the throng of people and serving tables, it was a smorgasbord and I had walk up to the serving tables for each course, which I didn’t find as anxious as I thought. We had a really nice time and lots of laughs. There was a few times I felt my anxiety rising, but I practised my skills before it got too out of hand and I was able to keep it manageable.
Walking back to the car I got fairly anxious as the car was not in sight of the restaurant, I kept distracting myself with the conversations going on, and again I made it fine with only one mild panic attack.
When I got home I couldn’t sleep for a few hours as I was so overfull from all the great food. But I got to sleep at a reasonable hour and woke up around 8 this morning.
I keep negating my ability by thinking that it was only because I was with my family, but then I give myself a stern talking to, to remind myself that it was me who managed it…no one else.
Thanks for a lovely evening kids.
Ruby
Chloe and her boyfriend came and picked up Rory and me and we headed of into the city, by this time I had worked myself up to a mild anxiety. We parked further away from the restaurant than I would’ve liked, but I kept quiet and focused on the conversation to distract myself. When we got there it was very full so we asked to sit at the back, away from the throng of people and serving tables, it was a smorgasbord and I had walk up to the serving tables for each course, which I didn’t find as anxious as I thought. We had a really nice time and lots of laughs. There was a few times I felt my anxiety rising, but I practised my skills before it got too out of hand and I was able to keep it manageable.
Walking back to the car I got fairly anxious as the car was not in sight of the restaurant, I kept distracting myself with the conversations going on, and again I made it fine with only one mild panic attack.
When I got home I couldn’t sleep for a few hours as I was so overfull from all the great food. But I got to sleep at a reasonable hour and woke up around 8 this morning.
I keep negating my ability by thinking that it was only because I was with my family, but then I give myself a stern talking to, to remind myself that it was me who managed it…no one else.
Thanks for a lovely evening kids.
Ruby
2 Responses to “Mother’s Day Dinner”
- Stephen Price on May 16th, 2007 10:56 pm
Ruby,
You are a good writer and share the experiences of an agoraphobic well. You probably aready know this, but I had to give myself credit every little victory no matter how small. There were times during my days as an agoraphobic that I could not even have done what you describe on this post. - Stephen
- Ruby on May 17th, 2007 12:47 pm
Hi Stephen
It is so hard to give ourselves credit, we minimise our achievements so well. When agoraphobia kicked in this time around, I was not able to leave my house for 3 months months, I had an acquaintance to buy a huge shop that lasted me for that time, then I had to make myself get up to the corner shop to buy a couple of things at a time, as I didn’t have any support, and wanting to eat is a good motivator… When my son came to live with me 2 months later I found I could be his taxi service (on a good day). I still only leave the house when I really have to, which is about twice a week, and it takes me half the day to psych myself into it.
I wish I could’ve started this blog at the beginning as I have found it very helpful dissecting my days.
Now I can do things with other people but not on my own, but I am slowly regaining my life bit by bit. I have avoided so many situations for the last 19 years that there are some things that may stay that way, but if I can get back to being employable I will be happy with that for now.
I really feel for people that have been housebound for years, I am such an independent (or maybe stubborn)person, because I had overcome it to some degree once before, I knew that eventually I would do it again with the right skills in place. There is still a long road ahead of me, but with programs like yours, which was a great help to me in itself but also the realisation that I am not alone.
Good luck with your book, you have so much information on this subject, I am really looking forward to the end result.
May 15, 2007
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy
Had my visit with the psych yesterday and we worked some more on the CBT and I am slowly getting the hang of it.
It looks so easy at first but have realised its not, but I will get there. Basically it is breaking down irrational thoughts and behaviours in a logical way through writing down the Action you were doing, then the thoughts that caused the anxiety and finally the consequence and feelings that came from the thoughts. Even though I haven’t got it down pat, I have quickly seen (when it is written on paper) how irrational my thoughts are and how my thoughts, not the action, cause the consequence. So I got a lot out of yesterdays visit.
My task for this week is to face my agoraphobia and attempt walking out to the letterbox, I usually stop there while driving in, and use the CBT and the breathing exercises to lower my anxiety.
Then I went to my GROW meeting which was also very helpful, I had finished my first task and reported back on that. My task for this week is to begin to understand my feelings better as I have ignored and buried them for such a long time now that I don’t know how to describe them any more. It is great at GROW as I can expand on the session I have had with my psych instead of working in two different directions.
Tonight Chloe and Rory are taking me out for Mother’s Day dinner, I have spent all week trying not to think about it, so I don’t talk myself out of going, its only 4 hours to go and I am still feeling comfortable about going even though my anxiety levels are rising about it.
May 13, 2007
Mothers Day
It was a great day today, first time I have had both the kids around at the same time on Mothers Day. I watched footy (which I hate) and got to listen to Rory’s heavy metal music (which I also hate…lol) and then the kids went to a footy game, and for the best part, I got left with Chloe and her boyfriends washing to do but I wasn’t bothered, I had a great day.
I had a bit of a panic attack the other night, I was driving to Chloe’s place on Friday night and freaked about having to walk through the foyer to the elevator. I knew I should have used the breathing skills I have been learning, but instead I called her to come and meet me downstairs and I felt more comfortable. Though I have been using the breathing skills and I do find them helpful, but haven’t mastered to use them once a panic attack has set in, only to help prevent the onset.
I have finally finished sorting all the photos, 45 years of pics in one week it was a bit of a emotional roller-coaster ride, but it was also a huge overview of the great life I have had.
We forget about so many of the marvellous moments we have and sometimes only focus on negative, so from today I am going to try very hard to focus on the best of each day.
I applied for a heap of jobs online last night when I couldn’t sleep. It was mainly for a practice run and to see how employers take on that someone has stayed at home for a year, of course I didn’t specify why. Will wait and see if I get any replies. I do need to try to get a part time job, I have lived on Centrelink payments for a year now, and I am tired of being so broke all the time.
It’s hectic Monday again tomorrow. visit the psych and then onto the GROW meeting, then I have to pick up Chloe from work.
Thanks for your comment on the previous post T, I totally agree, there isn’t enough understanding or knowledge on mental health issues and that is part of the reason I am doing this blog, to hopefully help and/or educate others through my journey.
I had a bit of a panic attack the other night, I was driving to Chloe’s place on Friday night and freaked about having to walk through the foyer to the elevator. I knew I should have used the breathing skills I have been learning, but instead I called her to come and meet me downstairs and I felt more comfortable. Though I have been using the breathing skills and I do find them helpful, but haven’t mastered to use them once a panic attack has set in, only to help prevent the onset.
I have finally finished sorting all the photos, 45 years of pics in one week it was a bit of a emotional roller-coaster ride, but it was also a huge overview of the great life I have had.
We forget about so many of the marvellous moments we have and sometimes only focus on negative, so from today I am going to try very hard to focus on the best of each day.
I applied for a heap of jobs online last night when I couldn’t sleep. It was mainly for a practice run and to see how employers take on that someone has stayed at home for a year, of course I didn’t specify why. Will wait and see if I get any replies. I do need to try to get a part time job, I have lived on Centrelink payments for a year now, and I am tired of being so broke all the time.
It’s hectic Monday again tomorrow. visit the psych and then onto the GROW meeting, then I have to pick up Chloe from work.
Thanks for your comment on the previous post T, I totally agree, there isn’t enough understanding or knowledge on mental health issues and that is part of the reason I am doing this blog, to hopefully help and/or educate others through my journey.
3 Responses to “Mothers Day”
- Robert on May 15th, 2007 9:57 am
Hi Ruby -
You’re right about the importance of focussing on the good things in your life. Here’s a suggestion you may find helpful (I got this from a NLP guru and I found it useful)…
Get a pack of fluorescent card stars (or make your own). Attach one to a wall in each of the rooms in your home. Each time you see one, recall a happy time in your life and smile. After a while, you will have trained your head to do this regularly and you don’t need the stars any more.
Robert
- Ruby on May 15th, 2007 3:21 pm
Hi Robert
That is great idea, we spend so much time focusing on the negatives and not nearly enough on the positives.
Please explain what NLP is, I have not heard of that before?
Ruby
- KonstantinMiller on July 7th, 2009 9:33 am
I have been looking looking around for this kind of information. Will you post some more in future? I’ll be grateful if you will.
May 10, 2007
Sleeping and Childhood Beliefs
Last week I had 3 nights of sleeping on time, instead of my time which is a night owl, and I thought I was getting on track. but this week it has been slipping a bit where I’m not going to sleep until around 1 or 2 and then sleeping in to between 10-12. I am really disappointed.
When I try to sleep earlier I stress so much that I can’t even relax, I try to do relaxation exercises but I’m too wound up, tonight I’m going to try the relaxation exercises before I get stressed and hopefully that will work.
I have been reading more of the GROW work book and it is very confronting and challenging, it is like someone is looking in on the thoughts I have daily, it is quite scary. I believe that if it is challenging then its something I have to work on as the thoughts are obviously maladjusted, so I am in on for long ride I think, and I am looking forward to the end result.
On Monday the psych had talked about skills learnt as a child that were beneficial at the time, but as an adult they are not very positive like stay away from strangers is a must as a child but an adult cannot function in daily life with that belief. I can see that clearer now after reading what I have, as a child I took on beliefs of my mother’s like ‘what will people think’ and they have now taken off even further that I am scared to go out in case I fail publicly in some way. Another one was to avoid the emotional abuse which set of my avoidance behaviour for anything that wasn’t pleasant. At least now I know what beliefs to focus on changing in the long term.
When I try to sleep earlier I stress so much that I can’t even relax, I try to do relaxation exercises but I’m too wound up, tonight I’m going to try the relaxation exercises before I get stressed and hopefully that will work.
I have been reading more of the GROW work book and it is very confronting and challenging, it is like someone is looking in on the thoughts I have daily, it is quite scary. I believe that if it is challenging then its something I have to work on as the thoughts are obviously maladjusted, so I am in on for long ride I think, and I am looking forward to the end result.
On Monday the psych had talked about skills learnt as a child that were beneficial at the time, but as an adult they are not very positive like stay away from strangers is a must as a child but an adult cannot function in daily life with that belief. I can see that clearer now after reading what I have, as a child I took on beliefs of my mother’s like ‘what will people think’ and they have now taken off even further that I am scared to go out in case I fail publicly in some way. Another one was to avoid the emotional abuse which set of my avoidance behaviour for anything that wasn’t pleasant. At least now I know what beliefs to focus on changing in the long term.
5 Responses to “Sleeping and Childhood Beliefs”
- Robert on May 11th, 2007 11:22 am
It’s really hard to find blogs from folk with agoraphobia, and I shall follow your experiences with interest…and of course, I shall be hoping that your road to recovery continues.
I don’t have agoraphobia myself, but my wife does. I started a blog to get things out of my system - just to be able to tell ANYONE what life is like. You can visit my blog at http://mywifehasagoraphobia.blogspot.com/
and if you do, please let me have your thoughts/opinions. It’s very much a work in progress. Good luck Ruby, I’ll be back to see how you’re getting on.
Robert
- Ruby on May 11th, 2007 12:27 pm
Hi Robert
Please give my regards to Marie. It is a very difficult illness and I believe that it is much harder for family members to deal with as they can’t feel what we are feeling or understand what builds the fears we live with.
My illness ended my marriage in divorce, it’s great to hear you are trying to learn as much as you can and support her.
Personally so far I have found that CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy) to work best, as it breaks down the irrational thoughts.
Your blog looks great I will also look in and see how she is going.
Ruby
- Robert on May 12th, 2007 5:36 am
Hi Ruby -
Thanks for looking in on my blog. I’ll eventually bring it up to date, so you’ll be able to see what avenues Marie explored to get rid of her agoraphobia.
It can be difficult to live with Marie’s condition - it’s the 3rd person in our relationship - but she’s still the best thing that ever happened to me!
BTW, do you know of any other agoraphobia blogs? I looked up some blogs with agoraphobia in the title, but they had absolutely nothing to do with agoraphobia.
Anyhow, I don’t know if it is of any help to you, but Marie & I know a little of what you’re going through and we’re 100% behind you in your efforts to free yourself from it. Feel free to email us at any time.
Regards
Robert
- Ruby on May 12th, 2007 11:29 am
Thanks Robert
I think I found the same agoraphobia blogs as you….lol….that have nothing to do with agoraphobia at all. I haven’t found any real ones yet.
Thank you both for your support, it’s nice to share the trials and tribulations.
I’ll look forward to seeing what else Marie has tried.
Ruby
- teresa on May 13th, 2007 4:44 pm
well good on you, I think its fantastic that you have tools like this so you can still intereact with people, with this disease or not, and so still continue learning about others and yourself. And so others can learn from your expereince too and maybe make people learn more empathy for conditions that we dont understand from first hand experience. It’ just a shame there are so many obsticles out there for us humans and so many that we have with in ourselves. Head up, chin up, walk tall and walk proud.
Bye for now,T
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Just a fact that you should not disregard…
PSYCHIATRISTS ARE NOT ALWAYS RIGHT!
Go at your own speed, listen to your body, visualize positive scenes when you get some quiet time, and it will all come together in due course.
Best wishes
Robert
Yes they are only people and everyone is different, I couldn’t make my appointment this week, but I will discuss this with her next week when I see her. This is something I want to do - being able to walk places - I know that I have to bite the bullet, but I need to put some strategies in place in first and start of with baby steps.
Thanks for your support, its so nice to know I’m not in this alone.