2008

Well its 2008 and I have plans of having a more positive year in various areas;

Number one is doing some social things to get me out of the house to meet some people, I haven't decided what yet, but I will have a look around in the local paper to find what is going on. I feel like I can face people now that I have at least something to talk about - work - cause I haven't done anything else worth talking about, and I am sure they don't want to hear about my Agoraphobia and Panic Attacks :)

I also want to spend some time and money in redecorating my house, I have made a small start where I have painted a feature wall, I want to paint the kitchen as well, have a new fridge and freezer on layby, and the next on the list is a new bedroom suite for me.

I also want to get back into part time study, still deciding between adding to my computer certificates or to add to my Diploma in Welfare & Disabilites, or maybe something just for fun, I will see whats on offer when the new courses are listed at the end of January.

I beleive doing the above things will automatically help with my Agoraphobia, so recovering further goes without saying.

Univeristy

I found this university site where you can do external studies through various Australian Uni’s and spent hours looking through all the computer study options and finally decided on BA of Internet Studies. I phoned up to enrol and they have changed the HECS fees applications so that permanent residents can’t apply for it any more so I have to organise to become a citizen. I applied for HECS a few years ago and there were no restrictions for me then. I got so angry at first that they will support people from other countries that have a study visa, but not for a resident that has a permanent visa makes no sense to me, so I figure they must make more money of people who don’t live in the country. So now I have to wait till next year to enrol….hmmm

I was really disappointed as I was looking forward to getting my teeth into something, but I also believe that everything happens for a reason so I will apply for my citizenship and reapply after that. I also realised that I have been lucky that I haven’t been affected in the last 36 years by not being a citizen.

So now I am going to go through all the practical skills in previous computer courses that I have done to make sure I am up to speed on everything. There is so much that I don’t use on a daily basis that I want to refresh my memory.

So now I have a purpose and something to work towards and that is a really great feeling.

Ruby

1. Robert on August 23rd, 2007 12:29 pm

   Ruby-

   It’s really unfortunate about the uni. But as we all know, life is unfair…

   Btw, what is your original nationality & why did you come to Oz?

   Just being nosy!

   Robert

2. Ruby on August 24th, 2007 1:36 pm

   Yes that life is…. but I will look into it again next year.
   I came from North Europe, and my family migrated here when I was 10, so no choice on my part, though I love it here.

Update on Finding a Purpose

This task is just about impossible for me, my purpose has always been survival and my kids, and I keep justifying to myself that I’m still needed in this role as a mum (and I am only needed now when asked) I will keep persevering on this one. I took up crafts for a short time last year and it was fun at the time, but I don’t really have the creative mind to keep it up and I get bored with it very quickly
I did some decoupage projects that turned out pretty good but now I’ve run out of ideas. though I don’t see this as a purpose, its a hobby.
This task is going to take a lot of pondering.

Finding a Life Purpose

Reading a newsletter from Agoraphobia Resource Centre at http://www.agoraphobia.ws/newslettermay292007.htm named “Finding a Purpose Greater than Fear” was a great read. It discusses how man can conquer just about anything if he/she has a purpose in
life. This has made me think a lot of how most of my days purpose is focused on my anxiety and agoraphobia instead of finding or working towards a purpose for life. I grew up having to just survive my teenage years, so I never had a purpose or goal for the future, then I had children and my life was focussed on them and I got put on the back burner.
Now that the children have grown I find that I do not have a purpose for myself. This is something I am going to really look at hard and see what options I can come up with.