Sleeping and Childhood Beliefs

Last week I had 3 nights of sleeping on time, instead of my time which is a night owl, and I thought I was getting on track. but this week it has been slipping a bit where I’m not going to sleep until around 1 or 2 and then sleeping in to between 10-12. I am really disappointed.

When I try to sleep earlier I stress so much that I can’t even relax, I try to do relaxation exercises but I’m too wound up, tonight I’m going to try the relaxation exercises before I get stressed and hopefully that will work.
I have been reading more of the GROW work book and it is very confronting and challenging, it is like someone is looking in on the thoughts I have daily, it is quite scary. I believe that if it is challenging then its something I have to work on as the thoughts are obviously maladjusted, so I am in on for long ride I think, and I am looking forward to the end result.
On Monday the psych had talked about skills learnt as a child that were beneficial at the time, but as an adult they are not very positive like stay away from strangers is a must as a child but an adult cannot function in daily life with that belief. I can see that clearer now after reading what I have, as a child I took on beliefs of my mother’s like ‘what will people think’ and they have now taken off even further that I am scared to go out in case I fail publicly in some way. Another one was to avoid the emotional abuse which set of my avoidance behaviour for anything that wasn’t pleasant. At least now I know what beliefs to focus on changing in the long term.

1. Robert on May 11th, 2007 11:22 am
   
   
   It’s really hard to find blogs from folk with agoraphobia, and I shall follow your experiences with interest…and of course, I shall be hoping that your road to recovery continues.
   I don’t have agoraphobia myself, but my wife does. I started a blog to get things out of my system - just to be able to tell ANYONE what life is like. You can visit my blog at http://mywifehasagoraphobia.blogspot.com/
   and if you do, please let me have your thoughts/opinions. It’s very much a work in progress. Good luck Ruby, I’ll be back to see how you’re getting on.
   Robert
   
   
   
   
2. Ruby on May 11th, 2007 12:27 pm
   
   
   Hi Robert
   Please give my regards to Marie. It is a very difficult illness and I believe that it is much harder for family members to deal with as they can’t feel what we are feeling or understand what builds the fears we live with.
   My illness ended my marriage in divorce, it’s great to hear you are trying to learn as much as you can and support her.
   Personally so far I have found that CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy) to work best, as it breaks down the irrational thoughts.
   Your blog looks great I will also look in and see how she is going.
   Ruby
   
   
   
   
3. Robert on May 12th, 2007 5:36 am
   
   
   Hi Ruby -
   Thanks for looking in on my blog. I’ll eventually bring it up to date, so you’ll be able to see what avenues Marie explored to get rid of her agoraphobia.
   It can be difficult to live with Marie’s condition - it’s the 3rd person in our relationship - but she’s still the best thing that ever happened to me!
   BTW, do you know of any other agoraphobia blogs? I looked up some blogs with agoraphobia in the title, but they had absolutely nothing to do with agoraphobia.
   Anyhow, I don’t know if it is of any help to you, but Marie & I know a little of what you’re going through and we’re 100% behind you in your efforts to free yourself from it. Feel free to email us at any time.
   Regards
   Robert
   
   
   
   
4. Ruby on May 12th, 2007 11:29 am
   
   
   Thanks Robert
   I think I found the same agoraphobia blogs as you….lol….that have nothing to do with agoraphobia at all. I haven’t found any real ones yet.
   Thank you both for your support, it’s nice to share the trials and tribulations.
   I’ll look forward to seeing what else Marie has tried.
   Ruby
   
   
   
   
5. teresa on May 13th, 2007 4:44 pm
   
   
   well good on you, I think its fantastic that you have tools like this so you can still intereact with people, with this disease or not, and so still continue learning about others and yourself. And so others can learn from your expereince too and maybe make people learn more empathy for conditions that we dont understand from first hand experience. It’ just a shame there are so many obsticles out there for us humans and so many that we have with in ourselves. Head up, chin up, walk tall and walk proud.
   Bye for now,T