No Advances Yet

Well I haven’t ventured out for my walks to the corner as yet, just the thought doing it freezes me on the spot and starts off a panic attack. I walked out to the letterbox today, and I had a look up towards the corner and it was so overwhelming I couldn’t believe it, I just can’t do it.
I can’t even seem to pinpoint what it is that is stopping me, I know that it is my anxiety obviously, but aside from that the only other thing is that it is so far out of my comfort zone that it scares me, as if I was stepping into another world that I don’t know or understand.
Its really weird when I know that ‘rationally’ there should be no fear to do what millions of people do everyday all around the world, some with war around them, and I can’t even walk 500m because of an inner irrational (although real) fear.
I sometimes get angry at myself, but then I have to stop and look at how far I have come since not even being able to leave my bedroom because of the agoraphobia. I also think that if this had been treated properly years ago I wouldn’t have spent the last 19 years using avoidance as a coping mechanism and thinking that I was ‘coping’ - not leading up to where I am today. But I can’t blame the past I suppose, I have to work forward one day at a time.