Chloe and her boyfriend came and picked up Rory and me and we headed of into the city, by this time I had worked myself up to a mild anxiety. We parked further away from the restaurant than I would’ve liked, but I kept quiet and focused on the conversation to distract myself. When we got there it was very full so we asked to sit at the back, away from the throng of people and serving tables, it was a smorgasbord and I had walk up to the serving tables for each course, which I didn’t find as anxious as I thought. We had a really nice time and lots of laughs. There was a few times I felt my anxiety rising, but I practised my skills before it got too out of hand and I was able to keep it manageable.
Walking back to the car I got fairly anxious as the car was not in sight of the restaurant, I kept distracting myself with the conversations going on, and again I made it fine with only one mild panic attack.
When I got home I couldn’t sleep for a few hours as I was so overfull from all the great food. But I got to sleep at a reasonable hour and woke up around 8 this morning.
I keep negating my ability by thinking that it was only because I was with my family, but then I give myself a stern talking to, to remind myself that it was me who managed it…no one else.
Thanks for a lovely evening kids.
Ruby
2 Responses to “Mother’s Day Dinner”
You are a good writer and share the experiences of an agoraphobic well. You probably aready know this, but I had to give myself credit every little victory no matter how small. There were times during my days as an agoraphobic that I could not even have done what you describe on this post. - Stephen
It is so hard to give ourselves credit, we minimise our achievements so well. When agoraphobia kicked in this time around, I was not able to leave my house for 3 months months, I had an acquaintance to buy a huge shop that lasted me for that time, then I had to make myself get up to the corner shop to buy a couple of things at a time, as I didn’t have any support, and wanting to eat is a good motivator… When my son came to live with me 2 months later I found I could be his taxi service (on a good day). I still only leave the house when I really have to, which is about twice a week, and it takes me half the day to psych myself into it.
I wish I could’ve started this blog at the beginning as I have found it very helpful dissecting my days.
Now I can do things with other people but not on my own, but I am slowly regaining my life bit by bit. I have avoided so many situations for the last 19 years that there are some things that may stay that way, but if I can get back to being employable I will be happy with that for now.
I really feel for people that have been housebound for years, I am such an independent (or maybe stubborn)person, because I had overcome it to some degree once before, I knew that eventually I would do it again with the right skills in place. There is still a long road ahead of me, but with programs like yours, which was a great help to me in itself but also the realisation that I am not alone.
Good luck with your book, you have so much information on this subject, I am really looking forward to the end result.