I was given a list of things that I had to think about, and how I would put them into action.
- Consolidating achievements from work to home life
- Are my fear thoughts realistic and how can I change them (and believe them)
- How would I put point 2 into practice
- The impact it would have to have alternative thoughts
- Consolidating achievements from work to home life: I have always separated my two lives, I have a work “hat” and a home “hat” (and never the twain shall meet). I think most people do this but I do it to a fault. At work I never second guess what I need/have to do, I don’t think about what people may think about me as I feel very confident in my work role. At home I second guess everything, think about the panic/anxiety consequences of every task, am always concerned that people will think that I am loop de loop (crazy). I haven’t attempted any changes in thought through the week as I don’t feel I have the time with work. But yesterday I tried to carry the same confidence at home as I did at work through the week, and amazingly I got a lot more chores and tasks done so that proves to some point I suppose that it works. The next step is to try it when I have go on the other side of the front door… Today I want to walk up to the corner IGA (small supermarket), but this depends on the weather as it rained all day yesterday. If the rain holds off I will attempt to do it with my “work confidence” and see if I can consolidate the two life’s to some degree.
- Are my fear thoughts realistic and how can I challenge them (and believe them): My main fear thought (besides those that come with a panic attack) is: what will people think? This thought came from my mother who was always saying: what will people think? When we were outdoors, in public and social settings. Firstly - do people even give a think about me? I have some proof that they do, but mostly people are too busy with their own lives to worry or care about mine. I am a people watcher and like to see how people tick and go through their lives, not for gossip purposes, I just find it interesting, so I assume others do the same, but for bad intent. Secondly - does it matter if they do? Yes, it does to me. I don’t want them to have misconstrued ideas about me that I cannot challenge. This is going to be a hard one for me!! Thirdly - does it matter if they pass on their thoughts through the gossip channels? Definitely, that will be even harder to challenge as people take gossip for fact
- How would I put point 2 into practice By challenging and changing the thought, which as yet I have no answer to, this thought has been ingrained in me since the beginning of time, it will be a hard one. Firstly I think I need to write down each fear on paper and then try to negate them till I come up with a thought to replace it with.
- The impact it would have to have alternative thoughts This one is easy, it would mean that I could do whatever I wanted to without this thought stopping me short….freedom.
Ruby
One Response to “Psychologist Visit - Fears & Beliefs”
Jethro on March 16th, 2008 11:13 pm Hey Ruby,
I know it’s a bit late but I’ve currently stumbled upon your blog and real glad I did. It’s hard finding people going through the same phases in life as myself who’re willing to talk about it.
What impresses me is the fact that everything in this post pinpoints exactly what I do too/think about. I watch other people pan out their own lives because I find it interesting. One of my past doctors told me it was an attribute associated with chronic boredom which didn’t help me at all.
I’m glad that there are people out there who I can relate too even in times like this. I’ve only started reading your progress now but it is inspiring. By the time I get to the present date I hope everything has worked out for you.
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