Timely Psych Visit

Had my monthly psych visit today which I always look forward to, as it gives me my boost to move forward.

Before I get to my visit, I want to give a bit of background to my psych and why I like her. You can't just see any psych and get better, it needs to be someone that you click with.

We chat about so many different things so we don't always stay on target, I really like her attitude about our sessions, that where ever we end up is where we need to be, as we are still tackling the agoraphobia in one way or another, she is so adaptable and I really enjoy that aspect. She has differing views from other psychs that I have seen that want to make you into a totally well rounded person, she believes that you don't need to become 100% better in the eyes of others to be mentally healthy. I have always had an issue with being able to do everything - as I have no interest in that, for example - I am a hermit at heart and enjoy my own company, so I will never be or want to be a social butterfly.

Her take on getting better is: If it doesn't have a negative affect on other people, it doesn't matter what you choose to do or not to do, but the big thing is that it is a choice, and not controlled by the agoraphobia/anxiety. Eg, if you don't shower, other people will be affected by the odour. If you don't go to luncheons, it really doesn't affect anyone, they may not like it but it, but you need to be accepted for who you are.

We have talked a lot about CBT and how I felt it helped me a lot in getting through my anxieties, but how the breathing always made me hyperventilate and just spiralled the panic to a point of no return. I had learnt the breathing technique of breathe in for a count of 4, hold for 4, breathe out for 4.

So she taught me her technique which I will be forever grateful for, it has made such a huge difference in me managing my anxieties. Take a slow deep breath in, then breathe out slowly counting to ten slowly and relaxed, then never worry about breathing in, as that is an automatic body function. So now I just focus on breathing out slowly to the count of ten. This has reduced my anxiety ten fold and was one of those light bulb moments that will always be remembered. I have not had a full blown panic attack since starting this technique.


Now to today's visit, I talked about moving my blog and scanning through the old posts, and realising where I am today compared to my first post.
And how last week I made it into the shop which was one of the first places that I avoided due to the panic attacks, I have been able to get into other small shops, but that was a hard one to face. I went in with goal of getting one item, but got four, and went down two aisles.

So we discussed that now that I am able to meet my needs eg. buying food, (I'm still not able to go to shopping centres, but since I hate shopping at the best of times, that isn't really a big issue for me) we are going to look at getting into office building etc. There are a few things I need to do, educational and medical, that I am not able to do until I can get into office buildings and attend meetings and appointments. Its not so much what I need to do, but more the waiting and giving my brain time to go off on one of its tangents - which usually ends up in a panic attac. Also its that I am not able to go anywhere where I am not able to park right outside the door, and pop and in and out without much hassle. So stairs lifts, parking bays too far away decide where I go and don't go.

So over the xmas break I am just going to keep going with what I have been doing.